We all deal with serious struggles in our lives, but I’ve found that there is no struggle greater than this: the tug-of-war.
Oh yes, professional tug-of-war!That’s right – while you may remember this event solely from schoolyards around the world, it turns out that the tug of war is an important enough event to have featured in the Olympics for 20 years (from 1900-1920) as well as having spawned its own legitimate international governing board.
To this day, competitors from around the globe gather to grab a rope and struggle against one another to prove who is the strongest. The 2021 Tug of War World Championships were hosted in Spain, with over 1500 people struggling and battling for rope-based supremacy.
While these rope struggles are certainly intense (and surprising in how formal it all is!), our struggles are often more personal and mental. I’ve personally struggled through depression, impostor syndrome, and a litany of other issues.
One way I worked to overcome these struggles was through investing in some incredible books. In today’s article, we’re going to cover three books in particular:
- “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg
- “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns
- “Confidence” by Barbara De Angelis
“The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg
As the title suggests, Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit” is a detailed exploration into the building blocks of habit routines. Not only does the book cover what habits are and how they are built, but walks step-by-step through reverse engineering pre-existing bad habits in order to turn them into productive and positive activities.
Put simply, after reading this, you’ll have all the mental tools you need to break all of your bad habits and unlock good ones. Though it doesn’t mean all of your habits will change instantly, it’s a bit like having the fuit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil – once you know, there’s no un-knowing.
As with all of the books on this list, for me, reading this book was incredibly empowering and also provided some major “oh crud…” moments. Once you’re clear about how triggers/activities/rewards work – you’ll start seeing what you’ve been doing to yourself that you’ve been blaming on external things like “this is just how I am” or “I just can’t control myself”. Turns out, sometimes it’s insanely hard – but a lot of the bad habits we follow are self-programmed…
Grab “The Power of Habit” Here
“Feeling Good” by David D. Burns, M.D.
More than any other book on this list, “Feeling Good” completely changed my life. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, habitual negative self-talk, suicidal thoughts, or catastrophic thinking – this book is an absolute must read.
“Feeling Good” is a brilliant, self-lead walkthrough of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. As someone with limited affinity for doctors and therapists from bad experiences, I was skeptical and scared to pick this book up. However, I’ve never felt more completely “seen” or understood in my life. For me, reading this book was as if Dr. Burns knew my soul despite having never met me. And I was at my own pace and liberty to walk through CBT techniques and find what worked for me without pressure.
Without hyperbole – “Feeling Good” changed my life. If you regularly find that your inner voice is talking down to you, or you feel like you’re an unlovable piece of garbage – you need to invest in this book. If you can’t get or afford therapy or other professional help, a used paperback copy of this book routinely runs between $2-$3 on Amazon. That’s how I got started with it, and I suggest that for you as well.
If you’re interested – David Burns has plenty of YouTube content online as well as the “Feeling Good Podcast”. All of his material is worth investing in, and he’s expanded his teaching since writing this book as well.
“Confidence” by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D
We’re in a weird place today where confidence can be a difficult term or feeling for people to comprehend without believing they’re falling into some sort of hubris or narcissism. This forces people into a stance of humility that can also be self-deprecating. This can become really confusing, because at what point do you get to think positively and highly of yourself without going overboard?
In “Confidence” Barbara De Angelis breaks this down incredibly clearly and succinctly. In print, the book is only 63 pages long, and that short period of time results in an absolute powerhouse of a book. If you were to read this off of the heels of “Feeling Good”, it will help you realize that there are numerous places where seeing yourself exceedingly positively is actually a very good thing – surprisingly contradicting some current norms.
If you’re shy, unsure, or facing impostor syndrome – this book is an absolute must read for you.
“Egh but I hate books and I literally haven’t read one since I left school. Actually, I just realized I’m still IN school and I never read the books I’m assigned! Now what do I do?!”
Well, first I’d encourage you to pick up a book and get back to reading. Reading is awesome, and I hated it in school and never did it. Later in life I discovered that I love non-fiction and I’m fairly terrible at reading fiction (I’m working on that, though…)
But, in the case where you’re absolutely dead-set on never reading and all you do is watch YouTube and listen to podcasts – you’ve got a few options… I’d look for interviews from all of these authors on YouTube, as they’ll go into great detail about their ideas there. Secondly, some of them have podcasts as well. Third – most (if not all) of these books are available as audiobooks on Audible, so jump into that if having someone read to you is more your cup of tea.
Most importantly – if you feel in your gut that you should pick one or more of these up – do it. You can probably get them all in used paperback on Amazon for under $10. So, no excuses on making your life more awesome!
Okay so, what were those books again?
- “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg
- “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns
- “Confidence” by Barbara De Angelis
And speaking of books…
The waiting list for Quit Aspiring, Vol. 2 is now live! Just go to that link and scroll to the bottom of the page.
If you’re interested in the book, getting on the waiting list gives you access to all upcoming announcements and pre-sales for the book. Those on the waiting list are likely to get early preview chapters, as well as early purchase access.