The 1990’s were a crazy time. Animated martial artist turtles could talk, everyone wore clothes 3 sizes too big, and most importantly – a company called Magic Eye put out these funky looking art books.
Can you see the hidden image?
If you stared longingly (or, through, or cross-eyed, or whatever other suggestion someone would give you), your perception of the image would change and you would see a 3D representation within the 2D image.
These were all the rage and it was always fun, interesting, (and frustrating) to see if you could percieve the “hidden” image inside.
Much like a Magic Eye photo is all about how you percieve the image presented to you, impostor syndrome is all about perception as well. Except, with impostor syndrome, we need to talk about self-perception rather than that of an external 3D image.
Let’s go over three reasons why your self-perception plays a huge role in impostor syndrome:
- Impostor syndrome is fully self-inflicted
- Impostor syndrome is rooted in how you personally perceive your aptitude
- Outside opinion is rarely the same as our self-perception
Nobody impostor syndrome’s you
Instead, impostor syndrome is a feeling you experience based in a thought pattern wherein you’ve decided that others are better than you at a given task. Usually, you’ll also have some sort of evidence (true or untrue) to reaffirm that pattern/choice.
Because nobody can “impostor syndrome” you externally, this means we actually impostor syndrome ourselves. We do this through comparision via social media, imagining how well other people are doing, and our own concern about ourselves. Theoretically, if you practice at training your thought patterns (through whatever means – prayer, meditation, journaling, etc.), you could reduce the impact of those feelings.
However, I’d argue that rather than trying to remove impostor syndrome, it’s more practical and advantageous to remember that impostor syndrome is simply a cue. It’s meant to remind us that we’re making forward progress, and continually moving our comfort zone – a very, very good thing indeed.
Impostor syndrome is rooted in self-perception
That means, if you personally think you’re doing well or growing in your perception of your mastery – then you’re unlikely to feel much impostor syndrome.
You’d think that means that as you improve and grow in your career or skills, that impostor syndrome would vanish over time. But if you think that, your assumptions tend to be incorrect.
Insidiously, you can be a master at your craft and still experience cripping impostor syndrome. This is often because masters have higher expectations of themselves, and still look beyond themselves for validation and mastery comparisons. Once you’re excelling at a high level, you can only compare yourself against the highest expectations.
And, upward comparison isn’t the only way we find impostor syndrome – but also “downward” comparison. As you age, older folks experience impostor syndrome when wondering if they can “keep up” with a younger generation and remain relevant.
So while this can certainly feel panic inducing, let’s once again remember that impostor syndrome is a cue and an opportunity to grow in our perception. There is even an aid of this, as long as we remember one very important thing…
Outside opinion is rarely the same as our perception
Because impostor syndrome is self-developed and self-rooted, we’ll run into thoughts like “How will I ever be good enough?” or “How can I keep up?” or most evil – “I can’t/could never…”
The great news and partial antidote is that in the majority of cases of artistic and creative people, our self-perception is orders of magnitude worse than an outsider’s perception of us, our skills, and abilities.
That means, if you’re hoping to get hired but afraid to take the leap for fear of judgment, or you’re being interviewed but you’re unsure of yourself, or you’re in a job but you feel lost and like you’re doing poorly – likelihood is that if you’re down on yourself, the external party likely isn’t nearly as down on you as you are.
While you could go to them and ask for validation – “How did I do/how am I doing?”, and I would recommend this when in a job – just remembering that your self-perception is more often than not worse than external perception can be the thing to get you over the “hump” of your negative feelings.
That means, if you’re unsure of how you interviewed and have a default tendency to be down on yourself – try reminding yourself that others tend to think better of you. Though it may be difficult and uncomfortable (and we’ll save that discussion for another day), try and allow someone else’s approval of you permeate your thoughts, feelings, and heart. After all, if someone wants to interview you, or has hired you – they’re already approving of spending time with you via their actions.
I’ve even found in the case of feeling like you’re “irrelevant” or “struggling to keep up” – it’s likely that your peers vastly respect you and find it courageous for you to step into new challenges. These concepts of acceptance and appreciation can led to a perception shift for you, and orient yourself towards the same if you’re willing to consider it.
“So… are you trying to tell me that I can just stop feeling impostor syndrome whenever I want to and this is all my fault? That… doesn’t feel very nice or compassionate…”
While I do believe that impostor syndrome is self-generated, if “controlling” or “not feeling” impostor syndrome were as easy as me telling you to just stop it and think differently – everyone would do that and an article encouraging you to catch your thoughts and take a step back would be completely unnecessary.
I don’t think your goal should be to rid yourself of impostor syndrome – just to respond differently to it than an instant, habitually negative reaction. As much as I’m writing this to you, I’m writing to myself, too.
Catching our thoughts, holding them captive, and analyzing our default responses I believe is a healthy thing to do. If you can catch yourself the next time you feel like an impostor and consider thinking “But what if I’m not? What if I’m okay, even if I’m not AMAZING?” – that would be a tremendous win, no?
Okay, so let’s break this down again succintly again…
- Impostor syndrome is fully self-inflicted
- Impostor syndrome is rooted in how you personally perceive your aptitude
- Outside opinion is rarely the same as our self-perception
The next time you feel like an impostor…
Think about seeing flying monkeys in a Magic Eye book – not only is it funny, but it’ll remind you that this impostor thing is 100% about perception. Thankfully, our perception is something we can change!
Speaking of perception –
Since it’s been a while since I talked heavily about Quit Aspiring, Vol. 2, you may assume I haven’t been doing much with it. Thankfully, that’s not quite true. In two weeks, I’ll be sharing a chapter for free, right here!